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It seems simple to get stuck in the everyday routine and focus on everything that has to "get done" and forget, momentarily, what it is all about. Every afternoon I get mommy time with you, my beautiful sons. Dad doesn't get home until after bedtime so it is a time that I get you to myself. Just me and my boys. During this time I watch you, Phin, in awe as you play with your toys by building castles, sing the ABC's and Twinkle Twinkle or surprise me with new words that you have learned. Lately, you new word is snuggle, a word that I love to hear you say because it is a moment that I get to hold you close while you hold me back and we just chill together. I also watch you, Luke, have the biggest ear to ear smile just to have me speak to you. How in your infancy want to run already but focus on standing for now. Your words are spoken through your infectious smile. Each night we have the same routine. Luke, I bring you upstairs, feed you your last bottle before your marathon sleep and rock back and forth in your rocking chair. Each night you are bigger, stronger and leave me in fear of blinking that it will all be gone before I know it. Phin, we have a similar routine as Luke except you have some words that you say. We snuggle on your chair while you finish off a last drink. You tell me you are done, roll over, tuck your arms in and tell me "Night, Night". I walk you to your crib and as I put you down I whisper to you (as I do with Luke) "Dream big little one, for when you wake you will move mountains." Your response is always "Love you."
Boys, I want you to do just that. Dream big. Move Mountains. Know no boundaries. Question everything. Be strong, independent men who use their intelligence and courage to be the best version of themselves that they can be. As a boy mom I feel so much pressure to not only teach you how to be strong but when to be strong. Strength is not only measured physically but mentally as well. It takes a stronger man to remember to hold a door for a lady and the elderly or to give up their seat. It takes a stronger man to bite his tongue than it is to lash out at others around him. Be okay with your emotions and sharing them with others. When you cry, Dad and I never tell you to stop, we tell you to do it! Something hurts? Cry! Something upsets you? Cry! Get it out!
Know that I am undeserving of the title you have bestowed upon me as your "Mom". You two are amazing little humans that teach ME daily what counts and is important. You show me that it is OK to need learning curve in the world of being a mom. I mess up, a lot. But you both don't care. Everyday happens once. It is unrepeatable. For that thought alone I cherish each and every hug, giggle, tantrum and snuggle you give me. You are my world. Nothing else matters if I don't have that smile to see every morning.
I love you. Thank you for giving me my most important job in life, being your Mom.
Photo Credit to the extremely talented Alicia at Joopa Shoots
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